“She Woke Up Well”
History is often considered a stale, boring subject filled with places, dates, and people. This is not true because despite the passage of time and regardless of who they were, where they came from, or what they did – at some level, we can identify…
The Perfection of Imperfection
My friend Michael and I were sitting alongside the Mississippi River in south Minneapolis recently when I witnessed the poignant beauty of imperfection, the hidden strength in what is broken. This little piece of damp sand, where the water flows past, is a special place…
No Known Survivors
Memorial Day 2019 was the first for Fred Rathfelder at his new address. Fred, who I knew as Sigfried, was my Dad’s cousin. Sigfried immigrated to the United States along with Erna Rathfelder, my aunt. Aunt and nephew left war torn Germany and wound up…
What’s Your Story?
I recently had the honor of attending the 10th anniversary of the storytelling project A Peace of My Mind by the photographer John Noltner; a project that began simply by asking the question, “What does peace mean to you?” Ten years, two books, hundreds of interviews and thousands…
A Purposeful Life by Father Timothy Backous O.S.B
Cathy’s note: My Dad attended St. John’s University in Collegeville, Minnesota and was quite proud of the education he received at that central Minnesota institution. A member of the St. John’s alumni lunch group sent me this beautiful essay that reflects what End in Mind…
The End in Mind
It’s probably rare to find a staff meeting where the conversation turns to death and exploring how many hours and days each of us has left on earth. In my work, this isn’t out of the ordinary – let me explain. I am the Executive…
A Sign from Above
I’m really glad March is almost done. It’s not my favorite month. In Minnesota, we normally see at least one big snowstorm. It’s like Old Man Winter flipping us the middle finger as he shuffles off into the warmth of April. I’m not fond of…
A Deathbed Playlist
The other day, I was driving to a friend’s house when a song I have long loved came on the radio, She Used to Be Mine, by Sara Bareilles. There are days when the song moves me to tears on its own, but as I…
The Death You Want
“Have you given any thought to how you want your end of life to go?” I gently asked my nearly-94-year-old grandma that question one afternoon as we talked about her younger brother who had died two years earlier. “I don’t want a stranger to find me.” “OK,”…
Dancing with Life and Death
On New Year’s Day, I bid farewell to a dear friend – a beautiful, vibrant woman whom I’ve considered my soul sister since we first met more than 20 years ago. Though she lived 1,500 miles away, I was fortunate to be with her when…
The Courage to be Real
At no time in our relationship has my physician told me that she feels it is a pleasure to care for me. Frankly, while I like her, I don’t expect that kind of emotion from my deadpan doc and given that most physicians usually have…
What will they say about you?
The funeral, earlier this year, for the late President George H.W. Bush seemed to capture the essence of the man and led a newsroom colleague of mine to post this bit of advice on Twitter: Live your life as though your funeral service will be…
