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Actions Speak Louder…

By December 6, 2019 Grief and Grieving

A good friend of mine recently gave me this necklace and because I never took Latin, I had to look up its meaning.

My friend knows me well. 

“Deeds. Not words.” 

I’ve spent my entire working life reporting on what others’ have to say and their actions or lack thereof. Which is more important? Words or actions?

The answer is probably both, depending on the circumstance.

I’m thinking about this question given a friend’s quick slide into ill health and her ultimate demise.

Some friends said the “right” things in e-mail messages and texts but never followed up with a visit, a phone call or even a video chat. In fact, several never made contact until her funeral.  For some, it was too awkward or too hard to “see her in this condition.” For others,  life got in the way of visiting  a dying woman. As my friend Bruce Kramer once said “Fear makes people do strange things.”

At the end of her life, I was heartened to know that she was surrounded by the love of steadfast friends and her family. Am I disappointed with the others?

Perhaps this sums up what I’m thinking right now: Words reflect what we hope to be while actions reflect who we really are.

How have you handled the dying days of a friend or family member?

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